I Can’t Get Over…

… this stomach flu. It’s getting better now, but it’ll flare up every now and then, which is why I’ve been absent from the blogosphere. Of all the things I hate, it’s something going haywire with my tummy. I hate it. I really do. I’ll do fever. I’ll do tonsillitis. I’ll take a migraine that requires some serious trephening* to relieve the pain. Heck, I’ll even do some good old fashioned water boarding. But I can’t, won’t, will not do a tummy ache. The Flying Spaghetti Monsterknew what he was doing when he created me as a gay man. Here I am bellyaching (pun SO intended) about a simple stomach flu when millions of women go through labor everyday. So seriously, hats off to all the mommies out there, especially the Demi-mom, for going through twelvity-five billion hours of labor. What you women are able to withstand in the name of loving your children is nothing short of miraculous. Fuck men. (which brings me to my next item)

… the fact that one of my friends (*cough, sounds like ‘gallery’) hasn’t had sex in over a year. Yup, you read that right. A year. I go up the wall if I go 2 weeks without (did I mention I’m blogging this while hanging next to some art work I hung up a few weeks back?).  I imagine by now there must be a cobwebs-bats-and-owls-going-HOOOOO situation down there. I mean, seriously, if you ain’t gonna use it, Gallery, you should at least give me free reign over your uterus. That’s just a crying shame of a waste.  

…the fact that it’s Monday. I slept through Saturday night because I was so exhausted over the week, planning out the logistics of moving to my new 2-bedroom penthouse apartment on the 37th floor of MAHvelous Eastwood City. That, and running around with Bianca during the day, and just getting old, I guess. Do kids these days still go out to them “clubs”? *spits chewing tobacco into a spit can

…this.

*I tried doing a wikipedia search on trephening, and can you believe they don’t have an article on it? It’s an ancient treatment to illnesses of the mind. Essentially, a witch doctor uses a chisel and mallet to crack out a hole in your skull to let the bad spirits out. Go figure.

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Thank You Flying Spaghetti Monster

I was touched by his noodly appendage yesterday: 

 

1. Found an old tie that I thought I had lost. It was my special tie that went PERFECTLY with my outfit for my job interview.
2. It took me 15 minutes to drive what would’ve normally been a 1-hour trip from my apartment to the job interview.
3. Had a free meal with the job interview. 
4. NAILED THE FUCKING JOB INTERVIEW.
5. GOT OFFERED THREE TIMES MY CURRENT PAY because I nailed the fucking job interview.
6. Found one of my favorite Malaysian restaurants here in Manila (Secret Recipe, 5th Floor Shangri La Mall) after the job interview.
7. Slept 13 hours because I was exhausted after the job interview

 

VAMp was also touched by his noodly appendage:

1. She found the laptop accessory she wanted, after going through eleventy-five rejections from different stores.
2. The mall wasn’t piping in crappy-shoot-me-in-the-head christmas carols as she was doing her groceries.
3. She found an old DVD of her favorite movie. 

Yes, I’m blogging FOR her because she lost her internet connection. 

But YEY SUNDAY! (Oh, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can click here.)

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