Would You Rather Wednesdays – The Facial Edition

Hello my internet lovelies. Let me preamble with I am so seriously behind on reading and writing (and ‘rithmetic?) but I just really needed to get this WYRW out of my system.

If you’re new to Would You Rather Wednesdays, Maxie over at ihatesomuch invites discussion on many soul-searching and thought-provoking moral dilemmas.

This is my attempt at cracking open your skull, scooping out your brain and unceremoniously dumping it at a fork in the road, hoping that it will take the road less traveled (for reasons that will become obvious shortly).

So without further ado, let me present this week’s

The Facial Edition

Would you rather:

Cry tears of 99% liquid amoebic diarrhea OR have a fully functional reproductive organ on your forehead?

Things to consider:

1. Tears of poo. I mean, seriously.
2. Tear ducts are connected to the nose. What happens when you just pass gas?
3. Sappy love stories, reminiscing old flames, and onions are forever forbidden in your date itinerary.
4. Sneezing is the new sharting.
5.  If you’re a dude, you will need to have some fantastically ugly glasses to hold up your testicles, or risk bumping into things.
6. Your attraction to that hot copy girl, cute hygienist, or any dead body will be instantly apparent to anyone who can see your forehead.
7. Ladies, one word: MENSES

And if you comment with “eeewww that’s sick, why would anyone want either?” a penis will magically sprout from between your eyes, replete with some voluptuous ‘nads, and then start having anal leakage from your eyes.