I don’t understand a lot of things, and I pride myself in being a nonstop learner. Even to the very last breath I take on my last day on earth, I’ll probably go “Ohhhh. So this is what dying is like”.
Of the myriad of things that perplex my mind these days, these are the top 3:
1. The Hubris Around the Lady with the 8 Babies after the 6 Kids
I get that the medical community went apeshit crazy about the miraculous (and what I imagine must’ve been a horrendously painful) birth of 8 babies. That doesn’t happen everyday, you know. It’s hard enough squeezing a human head out of a vagina, but eight? Hats off.
But what’s all this hullabaloo about her already having had 6 kids prior? So this woman now has 14 kids. Why the media frenzy? How is that important, in the grand scheme of things? All these commentators, medical experts, psychologists, news anchors, and their dogs seem to be mouthing off about how “responsible” this seems. Uhm, you fuckers didn’t say shit about how “responsible” it is for a group of people to deny another group of people the same rights to marriage. But, whatever. Leave this woman alone. It’s hard enough raising 8 regular kids one after another, but try 8 screaming babies in the middle of the night. Let her be. Jeebus.
2. The One Where His Royal Phelpness Did Drugs
Actually, I don’t understand drugs in general. Sure I’ve had them. There was a time in my life I did the pot, the e, the acid, and even that one weird ethiopian drug that gives you photographic memory for like, 48 hours, but you’re awake for that entire time (which came in very handy for finals). But even then, I was like “well this sucks, now I cannot brain. I has a dumb”…
I like thinking. I like exploring the often dark and twisty corners of my mind and finding a new, fresh horror. I like setting sail on undiscovered oceans in my own head and landing on an undiscovered shore, like when I discovered that although I was a lifelong resident of Vaginia, there was a much MUCH better land called Penisia.
Why anyone would willingly give up the ability to think properly is beyond me.
3. “Real Men” or “Real Women” ads.
“Real men don’t cry”. Or a picture of an athletic woman with a “Real Woman” caption. So a father who cries over the loss of his son isn’t a real man? Or a sister that has to stay in bed because chemo’s kicking her ass isn’t a real woman? Psh. Please.
What about you? What things don’t you understand?
Hypocrisy is hard to stomach, no matter what the issue, but we’re all a teeny bit hypocritical. (in my humble opinion)
I LOVE, “…I cannot brain. I has a dumb.” You are pure genius. Write a book with me!
I don’t know what a “real” anything is anymore. And there’s SO much I don’t understand, like how, sometimes someone can brush their teeth, scrape their tongue, gargle with sweet smelling potions, floss, AND still have an off odor coming from their mouth.
if can be seen touched smelled f*cked etc seems mighty real to me!