In the company that I work for, there is a petty, sneaky, creepy, spawn-of-satan-slash-evil-incarnate of a corporate executive director-of-sorts.
We will hide him under the name of Sauron.
This is what he SHOULD look like, as popularized by Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movie trilogy:
In my past four years, he has managed to derail me twice, sent me on assignments which were supposed to last a few weeks but turned into a few months, insulted me (through insinuation and in mockery) because of my sexual orientation, and is pretty much reviled by all those under him and all those above him.
Sauron, if you are reading this, be thankful you and I are employed by the same company for now. But I look forward to the day when that fact ceases to be true, upon which time I will proceed to systematically
Kick
Your
Ass
This is going to be the first and last post dedicated to you, dear Sauron, because I am done allocating brain cells to your insignificant existence:
- You are reviled by people all around you. The levels of revulsion vary but know that the highest level of revulsion usually reserved for child molesters and puppy-catapulters pale in comparison to you.
- Your karma is so black (no, this is not a yo-mama joke) that it sucks in the life energy of the universe. I am firmly convinced that you will return, in the next life, as a dark, curly, diseased hair: planted firmly on the rectal opening of a New York city sewer rat. Who regularly eats chili mixed with diapers. And suffers from diarrhea.
- (And this last bullet I’ve already told you before) If you were hanging on for dear life on the edge of a cliff, I will not stomp on your fingers to aid your (fitting) demise. Why? My momma raised me better than that. I will, however, be sitting and patiently waiting with a 1992 Dom Perignon, for the release of your last, tenacious grip.
You are a brilliant strategist, and I respect that. But as far as human beings go, you are the dregs of the dregs of the human gene pool.
…
…
*blink*
*blink*
…
…
Wow, that came from a dark and twisty place in my psyche. But it was catharsis and I am thankful.
To offset the mood of this post, I offer you, from http://icanhascheezburgers.com:
Couldn’t have said it better myself.. Bravo kitteh.. your wit far surpasses the dark mutterings of the dark lord himself… No amount of half-baked insult could ever diminish your diva-liciousness… He’s jealous coz he’s a closet homo.. and we all know how BEEEEEEETER those are…
More to come..
Uuhhh if he were such a brilliant strategist.. how come he wasn’t able to accurately forecast the staffing need in KL? how come he left people stranded there, zero logistics? How come he wasn’t able to allocate resources properly among the different sites? How come he wasn’t able to fix that travesty of a quality department? etc etc etc..
Mahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was brilliant, although i am l ‘clueless’ about what ur talking about ( cue bimbo)
Nice Work
[...] 11, 2008 in Rant | Tags: anger, Rant, sauron | Ok, I know I promised I wouldn’t post about Sauron again, but this just [...]
[...] “Do NOT piss me off, Sauron, I eat people like you for [...]